I suppose this blog is about being honest with myself. If I'm really being honest, I have to say that as much as I didn't like the idea of having cancer, knowing that so many people were praying was incredibly encouraging. Most days I won't see another person from 7:30 a.m. until 4:00 p.m., and many days I won't hear another voice (other than sales calls) during that time either. I didn't realize this was bothering me until people started calling me or stopping by to check and see how I was doing.
I think I do that, too, though. I am perfectly content to just roll along in my own little world until someone I love is involved in some kind of traumatic event. During the heat of the hardship, I will come alongside them and pay them a lot of attention, but once the initial excitement has waned, I settle back into my daily routine. Occasionally my friend will cross my mind, and I'll say to myself, "I wonder how they're doing?" Sometimes I'll even pick up the phone...more commonly I'll Facebook them.
This is not how I want to be. I want to be a reliable and trustworthy friend; someone who regularly contacts the people I care about, and is constantly open to making more and new friends. Again, this comes at a price, and I have to be willing to pay that cost. The good news is, I have an unending supply of love, grace, and compassion at my disposal if I simply remember to tap into it.
Lord, please help me remember that I am fully equipped with the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God the Father and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Convict my heart to tap into your power and overflow onto the people I meet. Open my eyes to see what you see. Open my arms to serve those you bring to me. Open my heart to love everyone who crosses my path. With you, I can do this.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Another Passing Grade
Another test completed, and I passed! I really wish there was some way to study for these tests.
In May of 2009 I had a mammogram, and they "saw something." I was told I should follow up with an ultrasound of my left breast. Well, long story short, I didn't. I tried an alternate diagnostic test involving thermal imaging. That doctor said, "No problem, just cut back on the estrogen (soy, etc)." I did, and thought all was fine with the world inside my chest.
Then, on Thanksgiving of this year, it came to my attention that someone I know, who had also had thermal imaging done by this same doctor, actually has a baseball-size mass in her breast. I was just a bit concerned for my own diagnosis, and was kicking myself for not having the ultrasound done 18 months ago.
You see, even though the tumor on my ovary is almost certainly not ovarian cancer, it is possible it is another kind of cancer that has metastacized. I'm having a lot of freaky symptoms. It is entirely possible (in fact, quite probable) that these are all totally unrelated issues that decided since I am now in the "over forty" category, they would combine forces in order to debunk the "forty is the new twenty" craziness that some idiot started spreading around. When I told my GYN my thermal imaging story, she was quite interested in hearing the results of my impending mammogram, as there is a definite link between breast and ovarian cancers (if you have either in your family TELL YOUR DOCTOR!!!)
So, I went in to get my frozen panini torture treatment over with (actually, its not really all that bad). Sure enough, the mammogram technician saw something in the same area that they saw 18 months ago. Try as I may to control it, worry and sweating ensued. However, instead of making me wait a week to hear that from my GYN and then rescheduling an ultrasound and waiting another week to get the results of that...they took me right over to the ultrasound room and did the test right then. AND to top it all off, an actual doctor came in the room immediately after that and told me it was all fine. I have "extra breast tissue" in that portion of my breast, so it shows up weird on my mammogram. It is perfectly okay... nothing scary at all.
HOORAY! And thank you Breast Center (name of the clinic) for giving me those results immediately, even staying after 5:00 to set my mind at ease. Truly wonderful folks!
So, now I just have to make sure that my urinary system checks out okay, and double check the ovarian mass on a repeat ultrasound. Those tests are scheduled for the last week of December. If all of this is cancer-free, I am in the clear and just have a bunch of nuisance issues. I can handle that : )
I KNOW without a doubt that all of the prayers from my friends and family are helping. If for no other reason, than just to calm me down. God is good (door is closed), All the time (key is turned)
In May of 2009 I had a mammogram, and they "saw something." I was told I should follow up with an ultrasound of my left breast. Well, long story short, I didn't. I tried an alternate diagnostic test involving thermal imaging. That doctor said, "No problem, just cut back on the estrogen (soy, etc)." I did, and thought all was fine with the world inside my chest.
Then, on Thanksgiving of this year, it came to my attention that someone I know, who had also had thermal imaging done by this same doctor, actually has a baseball-size mass in her breast. I was just a bit concerned for my own diagnosis, and was kicking myself for not having the ultrasound done 18 months ago.
You see, even though the tumor on my ovary is almost certainly not ovarian cancer, it is possible it is another kind of cancer that has metastacized. I'm having a lot of freaky symptoms. It is entirely possible (in fact, quite probable) that these are all totally unrelated issues that decided since I am now in the "over forty" category, they would combine forces in order to debunk the "forty is the new twenty" craziness that some idiot started spreading around. When I told my GYN my thermal imaging story, she was quite interested in hearing the results of my impending mammogram, as there is a definite link between breast and ovarian cancers (if you have either in your family TELL YOUR DOCTOR!!!)
So, I went in to get my frozen panini torture treatment over with (actually, its not really all that bad). Sure enough, the mammogram technician saw something in the same area that they saw 18 months ago. Try as I may to control it, worry and sweating ensued. However, instead of making me wait a week to hear that from my GYN and then rescheduling an ultrasound and waiting another week to get the results of that...they took me right over to the ultrasound room and did the test right then. AND to top it all off, an actual doctor came in the room immediately after that and told me it was all fine. I have "extra breast tissue" in that portion of my breast, so it shows up weird on my mammogram. It is perfectly okay... nothing scary at all.
HOORAY! And thank you Breast Center (name of the clinic) for giving me those results immediately, even staying after 5:00 to set my mind at ease. Truly wonderful folks!
So, now I just have to make sure that my urinary system checks out okay, and double check the ovarian mass on a repeat ultrasound. Those tests are scheduled for the last week of December. If all of this is cancer-free, I am in the clear and just have a bunch of nuisance issues. I can handle that : )
I KNOW without a doubt that all of the prayers from my friends and family are helping. If for no other reason, than just to calm me down. God is good (door is closed), All the time (key is turned)
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Which Doctor Am I?
The appointment yesterday went very well. My CA 125 test came back at only 17 (I'd been praying it would be less than 20). This is a good indicator that the mass on my ovary is not cancer. Hooray!
I saw a different doctor in the GYN practice than I'd seen before, and it was a great lesson in how to present information. She immediately set my mind at ease by acknowledging that I do have a lot of things going on with my body right now, but she said they all fall in the nuisance category. So far, none of them alarm her. We'll follow up with another ultrasound in four weeks, just to see if there are any changes.
At first I felt a little silly for allowing myself to be so worried by the tests. I thought about all the things the other doctor told me, the way she worded the test results. I'm not upset with her, though. She ran tests that would not routinely be done with my complaints, and for that I am very glad. I know I just said in a previous blog that I wouldn't ask "what if," but really...what if it had been something major and she hadn't done those tests. I am just the type of person who would ignore problems if she'd told me she didn't think it was a big deal. I've been known to go years without seeing a doctor.
God used the first doctor to get my attention, and the second doctor to give me peace. I am also very thankful for the opportunity it gave me to see just where my faith is these days. I have to admit, I was blown away by how many of my friends were praying for me and offered encouragement and support. I am blessed beyond measure.
Now that the immediate concern has been addressed, I'll move on to some other issues. We're still not sure why there is blood in my urine and why I have all of this pain. This is for the urologist to figure out. Also, I had a mammorgram 18 months ago that showed something in my left breast. I went to a different doctor who used another form of exam, and he said there was nothing, so I didn't follow up. Well, as it turns out, this doctor also told another person I know the same thing, and now she has a baseball sized mass in her breast. I have a mammogram scheduled for tomorrow. If you still feel like praying, I'd appreciate it.
I'm going to keep up with this blog, mostly just because I like seeing how my faith plays out. Do I focus on Hope? Which of the two doctors am I? I think I want to be a combination: give it to you straight , but focus on the positive.
I saw a different doctor in the GYN practice than I'd seen before, and it was a great lesson in how to present information. She immediately set my mind at ease by acknowledging that I do have a lot of things going on with my body right now, but she said they all fall in the nuisance category. So far, none of them alarm her. We'll follow up with another ultrasound in four weeks, just to see if there are any changes.
At first I felt a little silly for allowing myself to be so worried by the tests. I thought about all the things the other doctor told me, the way she worded the test results. I'm not upset with her, though. She ran tests that would not routinely be done with my complaints, and for that I am very glad. I know I just said in a previous blog that I wouldn't ask "what if," but really...what if it had been something major and she hadn't done those tests. I am just the type of person who would ignore problems if she'd told me she didn't think it was a big deal. I've been known to go years without seeing a doctor.
God used the first doctor to get my attention, and the second doctor to give me peace. I am also very thankful for the opportunity it gave me to see just where my faith is these days. I have to admit, I was blown away by how many of my friends were praying for me and offered encouragement and support. I am blessed beyond measure.
Now that the immediate concern has been addressed, I'll move on to some other issues. We're still not sure why there is blood in my urine and why I have all of this pain. This is for the urologist to figure out. Also, I had a mammorgram 18 months ago that showed something in my left breast. I went to a different doctor who used another form of exam, and he said there was nothing, so I didn't follow up. Well, as it turns out, this doctor also told another person I know the same thing, and now she has a baseball sized mass in her breast. I have a mammogram scheduled for tomorrow. If you still feel like praying, I'd appreciate it.
I'm going to keep up with this blog, mostly just because I like seeing how my faith plays out. Do I focus on Hope? Which of the two doctors am I? I think I want to be a combination: give it to you straight , but focus on the positive.
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